Rebroadcast: Dick Jokes for Classy Producers
Back in 2010, John answered a question about second guessing yourself and deciding what sample to send to a producer if you think your work doesn't match their taste.
I recently met a Hollywood producer. Let’s call him Frank. Frank is a big name everyone reading this has heard of. Through a quirky, unrelated favor that I did for Frank he agreed to meet with me and read one or two of my scripts.
During this meeting I professed to having written a dozen scripts or so, over the last ten years. When in reality I have really only managed to see five full length screenplays to the finish line. Okay, four. Frank told me to put my best foot forward and give him only the script that I was the most proud of. The one script that would show him what kind of writer I am and that I can really write.
I narrowed it down to the last two scripts I’d written and just sat down and re-read each one as though I were looking through Frank’s eyes. I’m pretty convinced he wouldn’t like either one.
My screenplays are nothing like any of the movies Frank has ever produced. In fact, when I consider the caliber of films he has produced, I’m pretty sure he’ll find my scripts rather offensive. As I had an entirely different audience in mind when crafting my odd little raunchy comedies. They make me and my buddies roar with laughter. Some of the most sublime and genius dick jokes ever conceived. But again, to Frank, those same jokes will probably be interpreted as simply flaccid and tasteless.
This window of opportunity that I have been given will start closing soon and I don’t have time to write something he may like. I don’t know what to do. Should I just go ahead and give one to him anyway and hope for the best? Or, should I humbly ask to cash in this favor later, after I’ve had time to dress my best foot in a nicer shoe?
— Dirty Feet
Favors like these have an expiration date, so you really can’t bank it for later. Pick the script you think is best — even if it’s the raunchiest — and send it over.
In the (short) cover letter, warn him that it’s deliberately offensive and tasteless. If there is a specific genre you were trying to hit, give examples. South Park isn’t everyone’s taste, but a script that aims for and achieves its level of clever offensiveness is worth reading.
Let’s hope Frank likes it, or at least understands what you were going for. In all likelihood, he won’t be the only person in the office reading it. His assistant or development exec might love it and call you in for a meeting. You don’t know. The only thing you know for sure is that they can’t love it if they don’t read it.
And don’t assume Frank is always classy. You’d be surprised who likes dick jokes.
Link to source: https://johnaugust.com/2010/dick-jokes-for-classy-producers
